


Distant

by siunove_laufeyson



Series: To Learn Silent Oblivion (Seasons) [2]
Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sibling Incest, M/M, Self-Denial, Self-Hatred, Sibling Incest, Thorki - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-14 07:33:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2183292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siunove_laufeyson/pseuds/siunove_laufeyson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sequel to ,,COLD''</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Lots of people were asking for a sequel to ,,Cold,'' the one-shot I improvised on a lonely evening with a cup of tea and romantic mood ^_^ I'd really like to thank all of you, who read the story and bow my head down for the ones to comment and/or kudos it. So, here is the sequel I thought of. Some people were asking why it took Thor so much time to find Loki, or why did Heimdall lie ect, etc. Hope this will satisfy your curiosity. 
> 
> Do enjoy the chapter and I will update as soon as I can. Kudos are great motivator of course and feel free to make your statements in Reviews, feedback is always appreciated/waited for ^_^

**,,Distant'' Thorki fanfiction,**

part 2 of the ,,Seasons'' series, direct sequel to ,,Cold''

* * *

_**,,Lovers are strangers** _   
_**There's nothing to discuss** _   
_**Hearts will be faithful** _   
_**While the truth is told to someone else** _

  
_**When you look off** _   
_**Tell me who you really love ...''** _

* * *

_**written while listening to the song **,,Lovers Are Strangers'' by Chinawoman**** _

_****copyright on artwork belongs to amazing[evankart](http://evankart.deviantart.com/), my personal favorite of Deviants ^_^ ** ** _

* * *

 

 

 

Loki knew they had it coming. He knew it all along and now, alone in his chamber, he had to collect all his self control not to tear everything apart. Voices of Asgardians’ were still ringing in his ears.

_‘’You should not have come back! You had no right to!’’_

_‘’taking advantage of the All-father’s death, aren’t you, Trickster? Did you kill him yourself?’’_

_‘’Traitor!’’_

_‘’Perverted creature!’’_

 

‘’STOP IT!’’ Loki screamed at the top of his lungs and leaned on the nearest wall, not being able to stand on the shaky legs.

Of course it was a bad idea. Of course they were not going to work it out. That oaf and him. Really? How could  he, with all his intelligence, ever think about it. How did that idiot made him believe that Asgardians would accept his  appearance after Odin’s sudden death and approve his relationship with Thor? If going to Midgard was one terrible mistake of his screwed up life, coming back took his ability of making terrible decisions to the whole new level.

There was a loud bang on the door. Loki knew full well who that was.

‘’Brother?!’’ Thor’s voice was loving, yet worried ‘’Open the door!’’

‘’Go away!’’ Loki muttered, sliding down to the floor, hiding his face in hands. _Still calling me brother, after all we had.. Oh, Norns, what have I done..._

‘’Loki, let me in!’’

‘’Go rot in Helheim, Thor!’’ Loki choked out, fighting the tears, already filling his emerald eyes.

There was a pregnant pause. At some  point, Loki thought that the Thunderer  had really left him. The Trickster knew, he should feel relieved but actually he wanted to see his.. what? Brother? Lover? Why the fates had to be so cruel? Loki curled up in a ball, on the cold stone floor, trying hard not to break down completely.

‘’Loki, _elska_ , please!’’ the Trickster heard his beloved plead. ‘’Don’t do anything stupid! Let’s talk about it, please!’’

The Trickster God lifted the spell on the door. Second later, the heard the heavy footsteps and warm, strong hands wrapped around him.   He let himself lean into sweet touch of his loved one.

‘’By the Nine, Loki, you’re freezing!’’ Thor exclaimed, massaging the smaller man’s fingers.

Loki did not respond to the useless remark. There was nothing he wanted to say. Nothing.. and everything.

‘’it’s all right, brother, everything is going to be alright.’’ Whispered Thor, stocking Loki’s haven hair.

‘’Is it Thor?’’ Loki asked back brokenly. ‘’Is it really?’’ with those words he straightened himself and made the Thunder God let go of him.

Loki stood up and turned his back on Thor, facing the window, looking down on Asgard. The crowd was gathered at the gates of Golden Palace. Another casual day, when the civilians would yell and shout his name in fury. They hated him, they craved for his blood, his death, his suffering, accusing him of bewitching the soon-to-be-king.  Blaming him for Odin’s fall and their failure in the war. The treason. The Murder. And worst of all - Incestuous relationship. 

‘’Of course, Loki.’’ Thor said like the sentimental and optimistic fool he was. ‘’We are to be wed and be happy, from this day on, forever. I’m not letting you go again. Never again, I promise.’’

Loki shook his head hopelessly. No, Thor would never understand. Thor was always loved, always right. No one ever blamed him. Even now, when they were together in their…  what, relationship? Marriage? What they were to each-other?

‘’They hate me Thor.’’ He said, voice all cracked up and hoarse. ‘’They all do. I should have not returned. What a fool I was to hope we would end up together.’’

‘’Loki..’’ Thor whispered and put his hand on the thin man’s shoulder.  ‘’don’t you  ever say that again!’’ he caressed the leaner man’s neck gently, ‘’Do you have any idea how lost I was without you?’’

‘’Were you now?’’ Loki smirked.

‘’I was.’’

‘’And yet you did nothing, Thor. You did not come for me. I was alone on that hellhole of a Realm, moving from place to place, working at shitty jobs, five hundred years without seeing a single friendly face. Where were you?’’

Thor did not answer, but the guilty expression on his face was an answer enough for Loki. ‘’Did he even know?’’ the Trickster asked him.

‘’Who do you mean?’’ Thor muttered.

‘’Oh, come now, the Mighty God of Thunder!’’ Loki scoffed. ‘’even you are not that stupid!  Did you tell him? Did father know that we.. that i..’’ Thor was not looking at him still. ‘’He did not!’’ 

‘’Loki listen..’’ Thor tried to reason. ‘’ it’s over now. We are together. What more do you need?’’

‘’You are joking right?’’ The Trickster blinked, amazed. ‘’you, did not EVEN try to talk to him, you did not even try to find me! Oh no! you’d rather prove your worth on the battlefield then to the one you claim to love! And YOU STILL DENY ‘’ Loki’s voice was an octave higher than usual, his hands clenched in fists, eyes filled  with unshed tears of half-millenia. ‘’YOU STILL DON’T SEE.. you’re a coward Thor Odinson! A goddamn COWARD! ’’

Loki could not even realize what was happening before he discovered himself pinned on the wall, Thor’s strong hand holding his neck in the iron grip. ‘’Know your place, Trickster!’’ the God of Thunder roared.

To hear his hated nickname from  his beloved’s lips made Loki’s broken heart shatter into million pieces. The single tear rolled down from his closed eyes  to cheekbone.  ‘’you are going to do it Thor?’’ he whispered. ‘’Come on. You should have done that 5 centuries ago.’’

If Loki had slapped Thor, the effect would have been the same. The Thunder God’s hands dropped by his sides, blue eyes going wide, face horrified, as realization of his actions dawned of him. ‘’Loki’’ the blonde whispered. ‘’Loki, I’m sorry.’’

‘’What a wretched couple, aren’t we, Thor?’’ Loki laughed bitterly, moving one step backwards, away from Thor. ‘’How did we end up like this, prey tell?’’

‘’I’m sorry brother. I am. I was not thinking.’’

‘’you, you.’’ Loki repeated. ‘’it’s all about YOU is it not? I’m tired of being your shadow Thor, yet again it’s all MY fault,  yet again YOU manage to get out of trouble. And they say I am the God of Mischief.’’ His emotions were in uproar making it hard to catch a breath, but the sudden pain, that shot through his body was unexpected nevertheless. The cry of both pain and surprise was the last thing he managed to utter before his knees gave out and the whole world faded to black.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so AT LAST i've decided to stop being a jerk and start updating my works. Merry Christmas... I mean, I'm so sorry :D  
> First things first, I do REALLY need to warn you; this fic will get dark and I mean this like 6-blind-men-in-the-middle-of-the-night-in-a-cave level of dark. Imagine every awful thing you can. Yeah, that will happen. All of it. So all the sensitive people better back off now. I'm telling you this because I will not be posting warnings in tags. If you're sensitive to one specific issue or two, you can write me and maaaybe I will tell you. 
> 
> thank you.

First thing Loki feels upon waking is the soft furs beneath him. Hushed voices, whispering. Waves of healing magic stirring his own into action and strange feeling of heat inside his body.  Everything hurts, as if he’s been on a journey to Muspelheim or fought a fire dragon.

 

Next, he registers gentle hands caressing his temple. Those hands are too tender and careful to be Thor’s. He opens his eyes slowly, just to have his theory confirmed.

Frigga.

Loki tries to pull away, averting his eyes, cursing quietly when every bone in his body protests. Frigga is having none of it, through. .

‘’Loki, my son.’’

Her voice was full of worry, which makes Loki hate himself even more. How could he ever call this woman her mother again, after he betrayed her so with his filthy desires to his brother?

‘’You need not hide, my son. not from me. you can talk to me.’’

‘’Can I? ‘’ Loki’s voice is barely above the whisper.

‘’Of course.’’ Says Frigga, her fingers still working on Trickster’s hair. ‘’I’m so sorry you had to go through all this, my son. I should’ve stopped it, had the power to, but was afraid..’’

The door opens and another woman steps inside the infirmary. Raspberry-red  curls, goldenrod smart  eyes, just a tiny bits of wrinkles around them. dressed in aquamarine robes of healer. Eir. Something must be really wrong with him then - the high priestess and master of healers only involves herself in case where no one else is able to help.

‘’Loki’’ she smiles and makes her way across the room to his bed. ‘’How are you faring?’’

‘’Adequately.’’

‘’Trust your son not to give away anything even to people he knows he can’t hide from.’’

Frigga nods and smiles to her friend and Loki is confused even more. If he’s really so hopeless that Eir needed to be asked, why are both woman acting with such ease? Mother would worry if something was wrong with him, wouldn’t she? She would care, even after what he did, at least Loki tries to hope so.

 

Hope is dangerous thing. They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for. Loki knows he had read that somewhere, while being on Midgard.  The prince is so lost in his thought that Eir has to address him twice to be heard.

 

‘’We need to talk, Loki.’’

‘’I’m listening, high-priestess.’’ Loki replies, his heart beating faster by second.

‘’There is something  about yourself, that you should know….’’

  
  


something is wrong with loki. Thor knew this as soon as he saw him a week ago, lying in the infirmary bed, with Frigga silently by his side, looking worried and maybe guilty?

despite what his brother might state, how he may slander, the Thunderer is no fool.

he can sense something is amiss.

but he cant figure it out.

loki has always been closed, introverted person but he hardly even talked to Thor for a fortnight now.

he doesn’t sleep either.

the thunder god would wake at nights and hear the splashes of water sound coming from the bathing chambers.

that is another thing that his brother does now; bathe for hours, trying to clean himself off of some invisible filth no one else can see.

thor sighs and stands, moving to the bathroom, bracing himself for rejection before knocking.

‘’Loki? May I come in?’’

there is no answer from the other side.

Just a month ago, he’d not bother himself asking, would just throw the door open and find himself i his lover’s embrace.

but that has changed as well.

Loki doesn’t want him now.

or he acts as if he doesnt.

and it makes no sense at all.

the lack of cursing words and insults worry Thor more than rejection would - he’s used to it by now. opening the door carefully (and wondering why its not locked in the first place) thor steps in, to find Loki sitting in a bathtub. his skin red from all the useless brushing and scratching it gets.

the raven haired man doesnt spare him a glance. he keeps looking at the golden tiles on the wall, as if they hold the answer to his every question. Thor just wants to shake him off of this trance, he wants to know what he can do.

but loki wont tell.

,,brother?’’ he asks and lowers himself near his lover on the floor. ‘’Loki?’’ carefully touching his shoulder, just to have Loki pull away from him harshly.’’what’s wrong?’’ Loki does not answer. not that Thor expected him too. but his sudden movement causes water to splash on Thors arm and by the Norns, it’s too cold for anyone to be able to stand it.

He wonders how long Loki has been sitting here, freezing and empty-eyed. the Thunderer sighs heavily.

‘’You need to get out of water, brother. it’s too cold. come on, i’ll help you.’’ Thor says and brings a towel to cover his shoulders. ‘’Don’t touch me!’’ Loki shrinks, but Thor is not letting it go now - its a miracle his patience lasted this long. it’s his fault - he let the situation escalate this far. slowly he pulls Loki out of freezing water, trying to calm him down.

Loki can feel the hands on him.. Thor’s hands, and oh Gods, no, he can’t touch him, no please, let him go, somebody, help him,  help or he ..

Thor stops for a second, startled, when Loki, after all the silence, starts talking but he’s not lucid, that much is clear. Only half-phrases and confusing pleas fall from his lips.

‘’Thor please.’’ he sobs, nearly hysterical and Thor wonders what happened to the collected, intelligent little brother he had. ‘’don’t touch me. Let go, I’ll hurt you, please don’t make me, I don’t want to, Thor please...’’

‘’Calm down beloved’’ Thor says, wrapping his strong arms around Loki’s lean shoulders. ‘’It’s alright. I’m here. I will help.’’

Loki shakes his head trying to pull away and wanting to just close his eyes, wanting all the torture to end. Is his life just one huge cruel trick Norns are playing?

Frigga’s words course through his mind, making him want to vomit.

Frost Giant.

He’s a Frost Giant.

Adopted.

Runt, useless, left to die.

And it doesn’t make sense and Loki wishes Odin was alive, so that he could ask him, why, why did you take me? What ever made you think it was a good idea to bring a monster to his family, hoping to … what? Tame it? Trane?

Frost Giants live for one purpose; to slaughter, to destroy.

And he’s one of them.

 

 


End file.
